Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Grab Your Shotgun, Then Go Shopping

I originally posted the following blog last Thanksgiving on myspace. It has been updated slightly, and since it is always relevant at this time of year, I thought I would post it again here.


Well, it's Thanksgiving Day, and most of us have had a yummy, gut-busting dinner, spent time with family, watched football, or at least enjoyed the day off from work. But lurking in the backs of many minds is the start of the insane pandemonium that is the holiday shopping season. While you were eating your turkey, stuffing, and mom's mashed potatoes, were you also planning your assault on whichever department store you plan to rush at 4:00 am? Have you studied the store’s blueprints so you’ll know the exact locations of the gifts for which you are willing to bite, kick, and elbow other shoppers? Is this considered the "thrill of the hunt?" Black Friday is such a circus of vicious, blood-thirsty gift-grabbers that it turns the idea of "peace on earth" into a joke (or "peace everywhere except a mall parking lot or store with holiday sales”). Suddenly, in the pursuit of a great deal on the year’s must-have merchandise, people lose all sense of kindness, patience, and holiday spirit, needing to sport a shotgun and a helmet for protection against other shoppers. The parking lots outside shopping centers seemingly find the magical ability to shrink down to three spaces, so that every shopper must be conniving, sneaky, and prepared to kill in order to obtain a coveted space.

It might just be me, but fighting - sometimes literally - for a parking space, just to gain entry to an overcrowded combat zone of a store (that for some reason is always approximately 150 degrees) doesn't sound like a very gratifying experience. Personally, I feel that my time and sanity are worth paying regular price and sleeping past 3:00 am. But hey, if you're willing to get up in the dark, early hours of the morning and go through the torturous melee just to save a few bucks on a DVD player, then all I can say is good luck to you. I hope you saved enough money on your gifts to cover your hospital bill. As for me, I'll save myself the trouble and the headache. I'll be sleeping.

5 comments:

The Mad Bass Player November 27, 2008 at 10:46 AM  

AMEN!
I've NEVER done Black Friday!
(I love the song though...)
Not really interested in the hype. I hear you can get the deals on-line. Why leave the house?
I’ll be sleeping too!
Happy T-Day everyone!!!!!!

Ian November 30, 2008 at 4:50 PM  

it's all fun and games 'til a Wal-Mart employee gets trampled to death

EMBO December 1, 2008 at 7:40 PM  

My sister-in-law went and tried to get me to go along. I went to Canada instead! You nailed the mindset, though--she had all of her sales circulars sorted, coupons clipped, list made, and store floorplan memorized. Frightening.

KLB November 25, 2011 at 12:14 AM  

I asked Alex if he could pinpoint when this insanity became socially acceptable but neither of us could pinpoint a specific moment. I kinda hate everything that "Black Friday" stands for. I'm with you, sista.

  © Free Blogger Templates Blogger Theme by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP